If you’ve just gone through a break-up (especially your first one), and are feeling quite low, you aren’t alone! Many highschool students experience break-ups at some point, usually due to not being able to juggle the demands of academics, extra-curriculars, and a relationship. They especially become frequent nearer to stressful time frames such as exams. Quite often, break-ups are accompanied by a wave of anger, some confusion, and a hint of jealousy or betrayal. It is also easy to lose your motivation and inspiration to do daily activities such as school work or even getting out of bed.

Probably the hardest thing about breaking up is answering this question afterwards: “What do i do now?”. Though it is quite normal to feel down for a short period of time, it is most important to not dwell on these emotions too much as they can hinder you from achieving your goals. After my first break-up, I felt like a big chunk of myself went empty because I had no idea what I could do to replace the time that I would have usually spent with my ex-boyfriend. A good friend of mine shared a few tips with me on how to deal with my confused and mopey self. Below are a few of them that might help you!

1. Share your feelings!!! It may sound obvious, but this coping mechanism is usually overlooked. You may find that sharing your feelings with someone you trust - especially someone who recognizes or can even relate to what you’re going through - helps you feel better. It could encompass anything from a good old rage n’ rant session with a friend, to crying on the shoulder of a family member, or even just writing your feelings out on paper and reading it later. Talking and writing are communicative media that give you the freedom to express and explore yourself, while gaining an understanding of why you feel the way you do!

2. Don’t be afraid to cry. Seriously. Let’s face it… break-ups can be hard, and releasing some of those pent up raw emotions can really help. There’s absolutely no shame in crying now and then. Personally, I’m not a big fan of crying. But during my post-breakup phase, I had a few good cries either with friends, family, or by myself. You’ll find that you feel a lot lighter after you’re done and that you’re able to think more clearly about the tasks you have planned ahead.

3. Keep yourself busy Whether you did the breaking up or you were on the receiving end, it can be difficult and even irritating to try and keep yourself from being stuck in a state of “I don’t want to / I don’t have the energy to do anything anymore.” BUT, it is important to remember that all the time that has suddenly freed up could be put to great use! Take up a new hobby, redecorate your room, learn a sport or instrument and hopefully develop a passion for whatever it is you choose to do, along the way :). It doesn’t mean that you should forget about what happened - it simply means that you should focus on other things as well so that you don’t lose your work drive.

4. Give yourself the time and love you deserve <3. Although a broken heart can be really stressful, especially during school, make sure you don’t break the rest of yourself as well. Try to get lots of sleep, stick to a healthy food plan, and incorporate exercises into your day to minimize the impact of the negative emotions on you. You’ll also find that it will give your self-esteem a boost so that your day doesn’t seem as daunting. Last but not least, don’t be afraid to give yourself time for the sadness to go away. How long it will take, I can’t say. That depends on what caused the sadness in the first place, how emotionally involved you were, and how you decide to deal with it. Getting over a breakup can take anywhere from days, to weeks, or even months, and that’s okay :).

REMEMBER: Be patient with your mind and your heart, and let the healing begin

Article written by ~

Mathuranga Sivakumar